Sim, isso é realmente uma regra oficial. Embora também exista uma penalidade de -2 por usar uma arma não destinada ao seu tamanho.
Também a página 144 do livro de regras principal
Weapon Size
Every weapon has a size category. This designation indicates the size of the creature for which the weapon was designed.
A weapon's size category isn't the same as its size as an object. Instead, a weapon's size category is keyed to the size of the intended wielder. In general, a light weapon is an object two size categories smaller than the wielder, a one-handed weapon is an object one size category smaller than the wielder, and a two-handed weapon is an object of the same size category as the wielder.
Inappropriately Sized Weapons: A creature can't make optimum use of a weapon that isn't properly sized for it. A cumulative –2 penalty applies on attack rolls for each size category of difference between the size of its intended wielder and the size of its actual wielder. If the creature isn't proficient with the weapon, a –4 nonproficiency penalty also applies.
The measure of how much effort it takes to use a weapon (whether the weapon is designated as a light, one-handed, or two-handed weapon for a particular wielder) is altered by one step for each size category of difference between the wielder's size and the size of the creature for which the weapon was designed. For example, a Small creature would wield a Medium one-handed weapon as a two-handed weapon. If a weapon's designation would be changed to something other than light, one-handed, or two-handed by this alteration, the creature can't wield the weapon at all.
Alguns DMs podem economizar a penalidade de -2 por certas coisas. Realmente não há muita diferença entre um shortspear destinado a um personagem médio e uma lança destinada a um personagem pequeno. O clube de uma criatura grande de uma mão não é tão diferente do grande clube de uma criatura média. Esse seria o lugar que um houserule mais provavelmente entraria em ação.