HP Fan-fic onde um Imperiused Dudley pula de um prédio

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Eu estava lendo este Twitter muito engraçado onde alguém descobre que leu uma versão de fan-fiction de Harry Potter e a Ordem da Fênix. É sangrento hilário, estou chorando de tanto rir!

First screenshot of the Twitter conversation between two users, where one abruptly finds out that they've been reading a 'fan fiction' version of Harry Potter; transcribed below Second screenshot of the Twitter conversation

First part:
A: So Dudley dies in Harry Potter right?
B: Do you want him to?
A: No I just got to the part where he was killed but Julia didn't remember that so I just want to make sure I'm not reading some weird fan fiction
B: Uhhhh
B: What book are you on?
A: Finishing up order of the Phoenix
B: He doesn't di in order of the Phoenix
B: Are you serious?
A: He doesn't jump off a building?
B: What the heck, no.
B: I guess it's not a huge spoiler, but he doesn't die at all.
A: What the what?! You're trolling me
B: No, I'm not. Dudley doesn't die. In fact as the books go on, he gets almost no screen time. Why is he jumping off a building?
A: He was placed under the imperious curse and made to jump off his school
A: By the rat guy
B: Uh, I don't know what you're reading but it's not the order of the phoenix.

Second part:
B: Did you get all your books from the same place?
A: It was all of them in one collection. Maybe it segued into the sixth?
B: No, that never happened in the books
A: Dudley is never forced to commit suicide
B: Nope
A: And I assume the scenes where Harry and hermione get intimate?
B: Ok, now you're trolling me
A: Nope
B: There's no sex in Harry Potter
A: Wizarding age of consent is 15
A: What?! The order of the Phoenix was full of it!
B: In the real order of the phoenix Harry is barely able to kiss a girl for the first time, and it's not Hermione
B: At no point did you think, wait this seems kind of weird for a kid's book?
A: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
A: I mean I'd heard they got more mature and dark as it went on
A: Okay, so I think I know what the answer is going to be, but did Draco and Ginny fake a rape scene?
B: No
B: I can't even...
B: I'm laughing so hard I'm crying
B: Ok, I'm going to need you to give me a rundown of everything that's happened so far in these books.
A: What sick freak wrote this?!?!
A: OMG

Detalhes da Fan-fic:

  • Dudley é colocado sob a Maldição Imperius de Rabicho
    • Causou suicídio pulando de um prédio alto *
  • Harry e Hermione ficam íntimos *
  • Draco e Ginny fingem uma cena de estupro *
  • Harry corre muito e fica musculosamente
  • Um professor (talvez Snape) dá manhã após poções
  • Harry tem uma cobra de estimação chamada 'Cassandra' ou 'Cassie' para breve
    • As cobras têm "a visão" e podem ver o futuro
    • Quanto maior a cobra, mais para o futuro * [eles podem ver]

Mais detalhes podem ser encontrados no Twitter convo mencionado acima, se necessário. Os asteriscos marcam os pontos obtidos textualmente da conversa no Twitter.

Que Harry Potter Fan-fic é esse?

    
por Möoz 11.07.2017 / 05:08

1 resposta

Eu acredito que é Harry Potter e a Serpente Psíquica de Barb LP, que pode ser encontrado em FanFiction.net , e também encontrado seguindo este tweet que também confirma que é Harry Potter e a Serpente Psíquica (Crédito para SQB e ibid)

A sinopse é:

Alternate Harry's 5th yr. He gets a snake who has the Sight. Romantic entanglements, Animagus training, house-elf liberation, giants, Snape's Pensieve and more!

Há um tweet da conversa por SMS aqui:

Que é tirado do capítulo 20, "Dark Deeds"

No capítulo 31, "Legacy"

Then Harry was crying freely as he leaned against the door and thought, If only I'd read it yesterday! If he had, he could have alerted Dumbledore and Sirius to the danger Dudley could be in, Sirius could have Apparated to Dudley's school, found Wormtail, kept him from putting Imperius on Dudley...

Dudley morre pulando de um prédio:

He frowned at Harry. "Not me, Harry. Wormtail. He turned up at Smeltings. One of the teachers started keeping him as a pet, or some such thing, and then he was able to get at Dudley..." Harry's heart was in his throat. "What happened?" Dumbledore looked at Harry levelly. "He jumped off the roof of his dormitory. This morning. It looked like a suicide. We think he was under Imperius. Wormtail may be the one who put the curse on him. He's dead, Harry." Tears prickled against his eyelids. "What? But—but we'd just become friends! He—he was all right, it turned out...we were writing to each other regularly..." "And he never mentioned this rat with the silver paw?" Dumbledore wanted to know. Harry shook his head.

Harry recebe uma cobra chamada Cassandra :

Well," Harry said again, "my name is Harry Potter. It's what people call you..." he trailed off, unable to put the concept of names into words. "I thought you were called 'lazy git,'" said the snake. Harry realized she had heard his aunt addressing him. "No, no, that's not the same as my name. That's called an insult. It's to be mean. Let's see, you predicted the future and I didn't believe you, so I'll name you—Cassandra."

Tem a visão:

"If you have the Sight," Harry said to her, "tell me: will Voldemort be stopped?" "Who?" the snake hissed. "You do not understand. I can only see a few minutes into the future, and only what is right around me. I cannot predict events happening far away. And I get only a glimpse of the future; the larger a snake is the further into the future her sight reaches, and the farther distant."

    
11.07.2017 / 08:12

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Alguém para carne moída empapada com leite? Como faço para consertar meu chuveiro quebrado?