Ela pretendia se matar, mas queria esperar que Nick fosse publicamente linchado na mídia - mas ela mudou de idéia ao acreditar que era inocente e achou que não merecia morrer.
Long Answer:
Embora isso seja Filmes & TV, esta resposta inteira é composta de citações do Gillian Flynn's livro original, Gone Girl , como é obviamente a fonte definitiva de informação.
No livro, nunca há dúvidas de que ela pretendia se matar.
...So I began to think of a different story, a better story, that would destroy Nick for doing this to me. A story that would restore my perfection. It would make me the hero, flawless and adored.
Because everyone loves the Dead Girl.
(from Chapter: Amy Elliott Dunne - The Day Of)
Mais tarde, ela diz:
But I am careful with money, my point. I have enough to live on until I kill myself. I'm going to hide out long enough to watch Lance Nicholas Dunne become a worldwide pariah, to watch Nick be arrested, tried, marched off to prison, bewildered in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs. To watch Nick squirm and sweat and swear he is innocent and still be stuck. Then I will travel south along the river, where I will meet up with my body, my pretend floating Other Amy body in the Gulf of Mexico. I will sign up for a booze cruise - something to get me out into the deep end but nothing required identification. I will drink a giant ice-wet shaker of gin, and I will swallow sleeping pills, and when no one is looking, I'll drop silently over the side, my pockets full of Virginia Woolf rocks. It requires discipline, to drown oneself, but I have discipline in spades. My body may never be discovered, or it may resurface weeks, months, layer - eroded to the point that my death can't be time stamped - and I will provide a last bit of evidence to make sure Nick is marched to the padded cross, the prison table where he'll be pumped with poison and die.
I'd like to wait around and see him dead, but given the state of our justice system, that may take years, and I have neither the money nor the stamina. I'm ready to join the Hopes.
(from Chapter: Amy Elliot Dunne - Five Days Gone)
Então, certamente, neste momento, seus pensamentos são de suicídio. Eles são muito bem pensados também.
Conforme o tempo passa, ela muda de idéia:
Em última análise, o bloco decisivo final que cimenta essa idéia para viver é o roubo que ela sofre em sua cabine, quando Greta e Jeff tomar todo o seu dinheiro restante. No próximo capítulo (muito curto em meia página), ela comenta:I have changed plans only twice so far. The first was the gun. I was going to get a gun and then, on the morning I disappeared, I was going to shoot myself. Nowhere dangerous: through a calf or a wrist. I would leave behind a bullet with my flesh and blood on it. A struggle occurred! Amy was shot! But then I realised this was a little too macho even for me. It would hurt for weeks, and I don't love pain (my sliced arm feels better now, thank you very much). But I still liked the idea of a gun. It made for a nice MacGuffin. Not Amy was shot but Amy was scared. So I dolled myself up and went to the mall on Valentine's Day, so I'd be remembered. I couldn't get one, but it's not a big deal as far as changed plans go.
The other one is considerably more extreme. *I have decided I'm not going to die.
I have the discipline to kill myself, buy can't stomach the injustice. It's not fair that I have to die. Not really die. I don't want to. I'm not the one who did anything wrong.*
The problem now though is money...
(from Chapter: Amy Elliot Dunne - Eight Days Gone)
I am penniless and on the run. How fucking noir...
I think of suicide again, how a prisoner on suicide watch spends twenty-four hours a day under lights, an awful thought. My gas tank is below the quarter mark, an even more awful thought: I can drive only about an hour in any direction, so I must choose the direction carefully. South is Arkansas, north is Iowa, west is back to the Ozarks. Or I could go east, cross the river into Illinois. Everywhere I go is the river. I'm following it or it's following me. I know, suddenly, what I must do.
(from Chapter: Amy Elliot Dunne - Nine Days Gone)
No próximo capítulo, ela encontra-se com Desi (Neil Patrick Harris no filme) e está "confirmada" para estar viva.
Conclusão :
Então, para resumir MUITA informação citada do livro, ela certamente tinha uma intenção definida de se matar quando começasse. Ela esperou porque queria ver Nick ser linchado na mídia primeiro.
No entanto, depois de ver seu marido se contorcer e lutar na televisão, um crescente sentimento de ressentimento cresceu nela e ela sentiu que não merecia morrer como ela era totalmente inocente. Em vez disso, ela escolheu viver. No entanto, sendo roubado de todas as suas posses restantes e sabendo que ela não poderia chegar a lugar algum para continuar com sua vida, ela ficou com duas opções - morrer ou retornar. Ela escolheu voltar (pelo menos para Desi) e "viver" novamente.