Hello, Mr Hormel, this is your hosting system at Nirvana Infomatics. We apologize for interrupting your regular afterlife, but unfortunately the message is urgent. Otherwise we would not have intruded on your VR sex athletics competition.
We are sorry to hear that you were going for a new high score. Nevertheless the message is urgent.
In accordance with your contract for postmortem uploading and long-term maintenance as an Electronic-Golem Artificial Neurosystem, or EGAN, we regret to inform you that your trust fund is not performing adequately. This is a result of global economic problems, arising from the continuing states of emergency in Iraq, Iran, Korea, France and the US Pacific Northwest.