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Did Kirk "Sleep Around"? Here's The Absolute TRUTH! By Jay
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Does Kirk actually have sex with every girl that crosses his path?
Well, here's the absolute TRUTH! From "The Cage" to "Star Trek:
Generations", I will count every single time Kirk kisses or has sex
with a girl for the sole purpose of sexuality. I will also point out
times references to Kirk's past loves are implied, and times he uses
his charm to gain a tactical advantage. Here's something that will
make people that believe this myth cringe: FACTS! The totals will be
at the end of the page.
The Original Series
The Cage: Kirk's not here. This is a story about Captain Pike.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Where No Man Has Gone Before: Kirk doesn't make any sexual moves
toward Dr. Dehner. But a Past girl is mentioned, some fans feel this
is Carol Marcus in Wrath Of Khan. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1 CHARM:0
The Corbomite Maneuver: Kirk doesn't make any sexual moves toward
anyone. No female guest stars. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Mudd's Women: Kirk seems to like Eve, but turns her down. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Enemy Within: Kirk is split between his Good Self and his Evil
Self. The Evil Kirk tries to attack Janice Rand. Sorry, this is not
Kirk Kirk. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Man Trap: The female guest star is (supposedly) an old
girlfriend of McCoy's. Kirk makes no moves toward her whatsoever.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Naked Time: Even with Kirk under the intoxicating influence of
the virus, he makes no moves toward anyone. Though he's sad he hasn't
time to be with a girl. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Charlie X: Kirk makes no moves toward Rand or any female guest
stars. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Balance of Terror: Kirk holds Rand briefly. But she holds him first.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
What Are Little Girls Made Of?: Kirk tells an android to kiss him.
He does this to try to get her to confuse her programming and to get
her to let him go. There is no sexual interest there whatsoever. But
I will count it as Charm. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:1
Dagger of the Mind: Helen Noel is an old flame of Kirk's that seems
to want to have some fun again. But Kirk doesn't do a thing. He does
try to embrace her, but that was a result of hypnotism. But I will
count it as Past. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1 CHARM:0
Miri: Kirk is chivalrous towards Miri. But no sexual attraction (on
his part) whatsoever. Rand flirts with him briefly, but Kirk ignores
it. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Conscience of the King: Kirk DOES kiss Lenore Karidian. She and
he do seem attracted to one another. So, for the first time, there is
some sexuality that Kirk at least partially instigates. But no sex
or sexism. KISSES:1 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Galileo Seven: This is mostly about Spock. Kirk flirts with no
one. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Court Martial: Areel Shaw, Kirk's old girlfriend, is there. They
kiss at the end, but Shaw asked Kirk if she could. But it does refer
to Kirk's Past. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1 CHARM:0
The Menagerie: This is another Spock story. Kirk makes no moves on
anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Shore Leave: Kirk sees a replica of his old girlfriend, Ruth. This
is just a memory, but I'll count it as Past. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1
CHARM:0
The Squire of Gothos: Kirk has to deal with Trelane throughout this
story. Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Arena: Kirk is too busy teaching a Gorn a lesson. Kirk makes no
moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Alternative Factor: The universe is going to become non-existent.
No women. Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0
CHARM:0
Tomorrow is Yesterday: Kirk has to deal with time paradoxes and
Captain Christopher. Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Return of the Archons: Kirk is kissed by surprise, but he doesn't
kiss back. This would've been the perfect opportunity for him to have
sex. But guess what? Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
A Taste of Armageddon: There is a nice comraderie between Kirk and
Mea, but nothing overtly sexual. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Space Seed: Khan gets the girl in this one. Though she helps Kirk,
he makes no moves toward her. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
This Side of Paradise: This is another Spock story. Kirk makes no
moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Devil in the Dark: No women to speak of. Kirk makes no moves on
anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Errand of Mercy: No women to speak of. Kirk makes no moves on
anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The City on the Edge of Forever: Kirk does say "I'm in love with
Edith Keeler," But Kirk doesn't kiss, charm, or have sex with her.
Again, sorry. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Operation: Annihilate!: Too busy dealing with Denebian parasites.
Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Okay, that's Season One. Kirk's kissed one girl. Kirk's had no sex.
Four past relationships have been mentioned. Kirk's used his charm
one time.
Now, onto Season Two:
Catspaw: Kirk charms Sylvia to try to save his crew. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:1
Metamorphosis: Kirk makes no moves toward Hedford. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
Friday's Child: Eleen is pregnant! Kirk naturally makes no moves.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Who Mourns for Adonais?: Kirk makes no moves. Palamas is attracted
to Apollo. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Amok Time: The only sexuality in this story centers around Spock.
Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Doomsday Machine: No women to speak of. Kirk makes no moves on
anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Wolf in the Fold: Kirk is too busy exonerating Scotty of murder.
They watch a dancer early in the episode, but that's it. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Changeling: No women to speak of. Kirk makes no moves on anyone.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Apple: Kirk encourages sexuality on a planet. But he doesn't
have any. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Mirror, Mirror: Marlena and Kirk flirt, but Kirk was having to
pretend to be the Mirror Universe Kirk. All Kirk and the other
Marlena did was grin at one another at the end. But I'll count it as
Charm. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:1
The Deadly Years: An old friend of Kirk's, Dr. Janet Wallace, speaks
of old times, so I'll count it as Past. But there is nothing else.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1 CHARM:0
I, Mudd: Kirk doesn't even flirt with the very-attractive androids.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Trouble With Tribbles: No women to speak of. Kirk makes no moves
on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Bread and Circuses: There is definitely some off-screen sex implied
here. For the first time in 43 episodes, it seems, Kirk actually has
some sex. KISSES:0 SEX:1 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Journey to Babel: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
A Private Little War: Kirk does embrace Nona passionately. But he
was clearly drugged by her. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Gamesters of Triskelion: Kirk kisses Shahna. Although he seems to
be doing it only to give her some comfort, I'm going to allow it.
Later, Kirk uses his charm to distract Shahna so he can knock her out
and steal her keys. KISSES:1 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:1
Obsession: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0
CHARM:0
The Immunity Syndrome: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
A Piece of the Action: Kirk ignores flirtations by a gangster's
girlfriend. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
By Any Other Name: Kirk is romantic with Kelinda. But he does this
to make Rojan jealous to save the Enterprise. Therefore, it only
counts as Charm. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:1
Return to Tomorrow: Kirk was in a ball most of the time. Sargon was
controlling the Captain's body. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Patterns of Force: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Ultimate Computer: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Omega Glory: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
Assignment: Earth: Kirk doesn't flirt with Roberta or Isis. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Okay, that's Season Two. In this season: Kirk's kissed one girl.
Kirk has sex one time. One past relationship is mentioned. Kirk uses
his charm four times.
Now, onto Season Three:
Spectre of the Gun: Chekov gets romantic, but not Kirk. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Elaan of Troyius: Kirk is drugged by Elaan's tears. Heck, Kirk even
resists the effects of the tears. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Paradise Syndrome: Sorry, Kirk had amnesia and wasn't thinking
straight. He also married her, which is far from being sexist.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Enterprise Incident: The Romulan Commander is far more
interested in Spock. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
And the Children Shall Lead: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Spock's Brain: Lots of girls, and Kirk flirts with none of them.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Is There In Truth No Beauty?: Kirk flirts with Dr. Miranda Jones,
but only to distract her while Spock deals with the Medusan.
Therefore, it only counts as Charm. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:1
The Empath: Kirk makes no moves toward Gem. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0
CHARM:0
The Tholian Web: Kirk can't even speak in this episode, much less
flirt. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
For the World Is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky: Kirk makes no
moves towards Natira. She is McCoy's love in this episode. KISSES:0
SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Day of the Dove: Kirk makes no moves towards Mara or anyone else.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Plato's Stepchildren: Kirk makes the historic interracial kiss with
Uhura. But he was under Parmen's telekinetic control. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
Wink of an Eye: Kirk definitely has sex in this episode. Though it
should be noted he only did it to distract the female villain and to
stall for time. For, it is very clear in this episode that Kirk would
not have touched her at all if it wasn't necessary. I will count it
as sex, and charm. KISSES:0 SEX:1 PAST:0 CHARM:1
That Which Survives: Kirk makes no moves towards Losira (for obvious
reasons). KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Let That Be Your Last Battlefield: Kirk makes no moves on anyone.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Whom Gods Destroy: Marta throws herself at Kirk and kisses him. But
Kirk is weak and all he wants to do is get out of the asylum.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Mark of Gideon: Whatever happens with Kirk is this episode can be
blamed on the schemes of the Gideons. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Lights of Zetar: Kirk makes no moves toward Mira. She is
Scotty's love interest. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Cloud Minders: Kirk makes no flirtations towards Vanna or
Droxine. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Way to Eden: Kirk flirts with none of the space hippies.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Requiem for Methuselah: Kirk falls in love with Rayna (almost
instantly) and he also kisses her. This is the one and only episode
where Kirk officially chases after a girl, and is most probably
where he got his false reputation for being a lady chaser. (It's kind
of ironic, though, that she turns out to be an android at the end).
KISSES:1 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
The Savage Curtain: Kirk makes no moves on anyone. KISSES:0 SEX:0
PAST:0 CHARM:0
All Our Yesterdays: Zarabeth is Spock's love interest, not Kirk's.
KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:0 CHARM:0
Turnabout Intruder: Lester is a nut in this episode and Kirk has no
interest in her now. But she was a Past flame. KISSES:0 SEX:0 PAST:1
CHARM:0
And that's Season Three. In this season: Kirk's kissed one girl.
Kirk's had sex with one girl. One past relationship has been
mentioned. Kirk's used his charm two times.
All right. For the entire 79 episode Original Series run: Kirk's
kissed three girls. Kirk's had sex twice. Six past relationships
have been mentioned. Kirk's used his charm seven times.